Saturday, February 9, 2013

College Basketball...Absolute Madness!

Remember when the Pro Bowl was on the Sunday after the Super Bowl? I wish it still was considering the lack of action this week. That is if you're not a basketball fan.

It is five weeks until selection Sunday in the college basketball world, and that means only one thing, Valentine’s Day is on the horizon. If you're single you save cash. If you're affiliated with another women/man/etc. you spend your tax refund on your socially shaped relationship, make love while drunk off chocolate wine, and eat candy that becomes perishable fast enough to use in a calculus class. Dollar bills y'all.

There were some games that struck a chord inside my small little brain this week which I'd like to share in the most exuberant of fashions.

What do Arkansas, Texas Christian University, Illinois, and Wisconsin all have in common? If you watched this week in college basketball, all four of those teams made their case for jumping into tournament discussions. Florida, Kansas, Michigan, and Indiana lost and they were all top five teams in the NCAA basketball landscape heading into this post-super bowl week.

Indiana lost on the worst defensive play I've seen a #1 team lose to on an in-bounds pass under the basketball. Arkansas actually did something athletically impressive this academic year, and Bill Self blew up in his post-game press conference at TCU. You would think that after winning a national championship in the mecca of college basketball he wouldn't react the way he has, but after three straight losses this late in the season, a #1 seed in the big dance looks like a glint of light now. At least KU didn't get rained on like Golden State on Tuesday with 23 three-point baskets or get screwed like Ohio State on a non-call layup in OT... And that was only one OT.

Speaking of Ohio State, even though they lost to Michigan early in the week, they may move up in rankings anyway. Ben Brust lofted two shots in the waning seconds of the 2nd half and OT to lift Wisconsin over Michigan only elevating the Big 10's status as the best basketball conference in the land... And that was only one OT.

Why am I saying that was only one OT? Click Here! Maybe your mind will be blown. Unless you remember the Syracuse/Connecticut Big East Tournament game on March 13th 2009, then it's just another Big East thriller. All I know is, if you're not excited, impressed, shocked, awestruck, overcome with some form of emotion, or (insert adjective here) then go to your local hospital and donate your organs now. You are not living.

The only team I see licking their chops this weekend when the new rankings come out is the "U." The University of Miami is a team on the rise after smacking Duke a couple weeks ago and on Saturday wrecking UNC 87-61. This makes it really difficult to not put them in the top three heading into next week with a little more than a month left before the big dance. Maybe Ray Lewis will do a squirrel dance at their selection party if they get a #1 seed.

O.K. I know that was a lot of basketball, but let's get back to Beyonce shall we?

Reddit was clutch, Twitter impressed, and Facebook was confused. I'm not going to attempt to make a joke because they just won't be good enough. The super bowl was a complete joke until the power went out in the Super Dome. The score was 28-6 as the 49ers were struggling to move the ball on offense and about to attempt a 3rd and long situation when the next thing you know, the power shuts off. Can you imagine if the 49ers would have won the game after that debacle? Ray Lewis would have committed another murder and Flacco would have been teased like a nine year old who just got his lunch money stolen in the bathroom.

Also, what is Joe Flacco on? He said he would have tackled Ted Ginn if Ted would have broken free on that run back on the final kickoff. Ray Rice also thinks that Flacco is the best Quarterback in the NFL? There's more than sniffing salts going around in Baltimore everybody. Rice forgets that guy Eli Manning has done what Flacco has done twice, and nobody will put Eli in the top five when it comes to QB rankings. The ignorance... it is so bliss. Also, Anquan Boldin is thinking of retiring in his early thirties if the Ravens don't re-sign him. I'm sorry, but if seven digit paychecks for a couple years from a C+ team won't satisfy your bank account, then you seriously need to get a brain scan done.

One more basketball story really quick...

Kevin Garnett got his 25,000th point this Thursday in a blowout win over that purple and yellow team in LA. I found it especially fitting he did it on his patented shimmy-fade near the left elbow. A move that he has been using since I was going through puberty. The man has always been possessed but with being in the league for 16+ years and still going at a relatively productive rate, I have nothing but sheer respect for the man. *Props KG*

National signing day is probably one of my favorite topics when it comes to college football because it perpetually refreshes my mind every year and reminds me of how messed up our society is. Alex Collins is just another perfect example of how awesome the path our country is taking. His mom really doesn't understand the definition of freedom does she? Anyways read this story if you haven't, and if you're from another part of the world besides this "great fifty state" minutia, be proud that your country's families are not this ridiculous about something as meaningless as sports.

One last thing before I head back the gym and get my antler spray on, this baseball card made a lot of money and is nearly one-hundred fifty years old. I find it fascinating that a childhood hobby item earned this much cash in an auction. It's one thing if it is the Honus Wagner card that we all know and love, but it's a freaking Brooklyn Athletics team card.

Maybe I should just keep my John Rocker rookie card and sell it when I get terminal cancer at seventy and add some tasks to my bucket list.

At least we all know King Felix got paid what he deserved.

I live here in the Pacific Northwest and if there is one person that deserves the salary he is getting, it's that guy. A seven year, $175,000,000 contract is what he has earned, and if you are cringing because of the huge contract, he's twenty-six years old and will be thirty-three by the time the contract is up. He has earned every penny of this contract and knowing the caliber of person Felix is, he will fulfill his duties. Especially more than a baseball card that has lasted for almost one-hundred fifty years.

The one thing that makes me laugh the most about this Felix deal is that the east coast media has to question weather he's healthy and weather he'll make to the end of his contract. It's a legitimate concern, but how come nobody questioned A-Rod's contract back when he signed his $250,000,000 contract back in the early 2000's? The dude will be out for an entire season in 2012 and he'll take $30,000,000 with him without picking up a bat. The declining velocity is a problem that Felix has had for the past year, but that didn't stop him from competing for another Cy-Young Award along with a perfect game in mid-August.

I love how at the beginning of the week, Felix was completely healthy, and now he's viewed a liability. Fantastic! I'll go sign a contract and hangout in a hospital now. Maybe the media will love me... Please?

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